Saturday night I went out with Neuroscience Kid. I haven’t spent much time talking about him so here is a recap:
Neuroscience Kid
We met in October and had an awesome date (he bought me dinner, I bought him a drink, and we just had a lot of fun). He walked me part way home and kissed me on the cheek goodbye asking to see me again despite his busy schedule. I got super excited because he fits a lot of my ideals (blue eyes, nerdy, into music, etc) and seemed to like me. We made plans for that week but at the last second he canceled. He went out of town for a bit, and upon his return we made plans again, and again he canceled. At that point I was almost finished but I decided I’d just make sure so I sent him a message on facebook saying:
“Hey I just wanted to write you because I think there might have been some miscommunication and I think it’s good to be on the same page. If you’re not interested then that is totally fine. I had a great time when we hung out but I completely understand if you don’t want to go out again–not a big deal. But, I’d definitely rather know upfront if that’s the case than for me to misinterpret things and keep trying to schedule plans with you. Thanks–hope you’re feeling better.” However, his response protested that he was indeed just busy and sick and would call me soon.
A few weeks later he did call and we went out again. Again it was a really fun night–we got drinks, played Connect Four, and hooked up at my apartment. That night he said how he hoped to spend Thanksgiving with me because we would both be alone in the city and I again got giddy. The next morning was less successful. I had work early and so I had to wake him up and make him leave (I warned him of this the night before) and on the way out he noticed a lovely sign my freshmen had posted on my door. “PLEASE FUCK MORE QUIETLY!” it tenderly suggested. I was mortified. Later that day I texted apologizing on the harsh exit and asking about Thanksgiving later that week. No response and no calls. In defiance, I posted the following song to my Facebook page for my freshmen:
By late December I was done with Neuroscience Kid and I’d met Mr. President. On my third date with Mr. President, after he’d bought me dinner, paid for my cab home, and we’d had a fun hookup, I received a text message just as I walked in my door after the evening. Neuroscience Kid. I feel like men have an uncanny ability to sense when their female interests have another offer–it’s a bullshit power and totally not fair. The message said: “Hey, what’s new? Sorry I’ve been busy lately, I’d love to see you soon though!” I sent a cold response: “I’m good–leaving for home tomorrow.” He didn’t pick up on the tone and said “Ok, well have a great holiday and we should go out as soon as you’re back!” Ugh.
And so, I returned to New York City. At first I thought “whatever, I don’t know if it’s worth it to even bother,” but then as my life has gotten more complicated with Mr. President and Max, a third option who is not connected at all seemed more appealing. After he canceled the first time, we made plans and this weekend we went out.
The night was fun–we got drinks at two bars in mid-town and then at a place in the village. The conversation was fun and he was publicly affectionate–touching my hands, kissing me, etc.–which was a nice change after my date the previous night with Mr. President which felt extremely platonic. We went back to my apartment and we started hooking up, slowly removing clothing until there was nothing left, and having a great time. However, then he started doing this thing–putting himself dangerously close–and so I thought he wanted to have sex. “We need a condom” I said, getting up and grabbing one. However, once the condom was on the headboard and available, he stopped his game and it seemed sex was definitely not going to happen. I was fine with that but then a little later the intentional close-calls began again. Again I said “just put on the condom” and instead he stopped.
The next day I was with a few of my ladies and I described the event. “Oh, he was playing a little J.T.T.” said a girl who will soon be established as Dr. Holly. “J.T.T.?” I asked, thinking back to my 4th grade obsession with Jonathan Taylor Thomas. “Yeah, Just The Tip. That’s totally happened to me. Lots of guy play that game… I think they hope you’ll just be like ‘yes, sex now!’ and let them go without the condom.” My other friend lovingly nicknamed MC Tank chimed in saying “Yeah, I think it makes them feel cool or dangerous or something because it’s like they’re doing it without your permission. It’s retarded.” I had no idea that “Just the Tip” was a common phenomenon in the dating/hookup world. After being with Dylan for so long, I was used to things as foreplay with sex in mind, but clearly Neuroscience Kid wasn’t trying to get laid.
Despite the strange hookup, Neuroscience Kid was successful in reestablishing himself as one of the players. He cuddled with me all night and at one point said “I really like you…” He talked about how this semester would be less busy for him so he’d be available to go out more often. I teased him saying our usual rate is once a month so I wouldn’t expect anything until February or March but he said he wouldn’t let that happen. At one point I mentioned wanting to go ice skating and he said we should do it together and he brought up my play from last semester saying how he had tried to make it but got stuck in a meeting on the one day he could have come. He offered to help me with my neuroscience class and when I showed interest in brain imaging he promised to use me as a paid subject for his next MRI study. The next morning he stayed really affectionate and got brunch with me rather than just running off. It’s a little frustrating because last semester I liked him so much but due to his actions (or inaction I guess) my interest level had shifted and now he was just one of many possibilities. Now the test will be seeing if he actually follows through and calls or if his flaky reputation continues to spoil what would otherwise be a promising option.
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